Preaching at a wedding this past weekend I referenced a book review that I recently read on SFGate. The article is called "Here Comes the Bill" talking about the recently purblished book "One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding" by Rebecca Mead.
The ideas of the book made for a great introduction in the sermon...reflections on the modern American Wedding and the myths that we have been fed by corporate America over the past 100 years in regards to what constitutes and what doesn't make a traditional wedding.
Every Saturday in July there are an average of 11,00o weddings in America, which cost an average of $27,852 (which equals 8 months of the median salary in our country).
The author of the book, Mead, has an interesting theory about modern American weddings:
"Overblown weddings result from a couple's feeling of emptiness; there's a void at the center of the ceremony that needs to be filled. With the decline in relgious authority, she argues, a wedding no longer has the meaning it once did. With more people delaying marriage until they're older, it no longer marks the transition from childhood to adulthood as it once did. Many people live on their own before getting married, have had sex before marriage and may even have children togther - or from other relationships. The wedding itself, then, becomes the 'traumatic experience' to overcome. The survivial of self-imposed financial hardships and unrealistic expectations becomes the rite of passage. And thanks to our willingness to accede to a consumer-oriented society with its "I buy therefore I am" mantra, wedding planners, gown sellers and travel agents offer therapy. We purchase - things or experiences - to make ourvselves feel emotionally whole."
Shocking words...is it a sign of the decline of our civilzation - like I wrote of yesterday about the decline of reading among youth? Is it a call for a Re-Christianization of America? Is it a call to overthrow the shackling cultural propoganda diffused subversively by corporate America into our values, ethics, and worldviews?
As I reflect on the article, the wedding this past weekend (in which the scripture was Luke12:22-34 - Jesus saying, "Do not worry about what you'll eat, wear or where you'll live. Consider the flowers of the fields, the birds of the air. If God cares for them, won't God care for you who are created in God's image?" I suspect many couples spend so much time worrying about the small details, that they miss out on the whole meaning-making experience of being wed publicly with family, friends and one's community present as witnesses. The writers of the New Testament often write about the Christian Church as the Bride of Christ, articulating the mystery that somehow through Christ and his resurrection, we as part of the community of believers are united - or married - to God in a mystical and real union. I can't help wondering if in our rush to copy what we see in Martha Stewart Weddings or on E! we've settled for becoming Bridezilla instead of dreaming of being the Bride of Christ?
My worldview and belief system form my perspective that God's presence, purpose and passion are at the root, foundation, and the force that brings us together in all relationships - married or not. What does it mean if we're empty at the core? If the major meaning-making events/experiences in life (not just weddings, but births, death, major life transitions) are simply becoming opportune times for us to purchase this or that item in order to satisfy what we can't fill within oursevles and our lives?
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